Revision

I chose my personal narrative because I feel like it needed the most work out of all of my work and because of this I felt that I give it the work that it needed. The traits I focused on was my introduction and my fluency. I changed my introduction because in the state it was in earlier it didn't make sense with the rest of the narrative. I also fixed my conclusion from being just a one sentence ending.

The One That Made History

It was the third day since the historic flood had come through Baton Rouge. I was getting ready to go help cleanup. When I was ready to go cleanup my family and I decided to go help my friend and cleanup her house. While helping cleanup I had a real come to Jesus meeting with myself and made me realize just how lucky I actually am. Had I actually been flooded my entire family would have been displaced. I also saw first hand how the Baton Rouge community can come together and can help other that are in need.

            The next day when the water level receded to where your car wouldn’t get flooded me and my mother drove out to go and see the damage it had done. A house that was for sale asking for a small fortune was flooded. Only now did I realize why they asked for that amount of money. All of the beautiful furniture was at the curb. Never realized just how big the house was until I saw all of its white walls at the curb. This was at one point a small mansion and within a couple of days it was empty. All of this damage to houses like this one all over just because of some water. Just the thought of some water getting into someone’s house just left me in complete state of confusion. It never occurred to me that this wasn’t just any water this was sewer water; contaminated water.

            Later that day my mom and went to go help clean up the Dorris house when on the way all you would smell is this smell of rotten insulation and mold that was growing on the houses. The sight of all of these empty houses with all of their furniture and memories on the curb just waiting for them to be thrown away like trash. Yet during all of this everyone was so kind and had this can do attitude. Just showing how everyone when they realize that they aren’t the ones that should be having a pity party can come together to do some pretty amazing things.

            When I got to the house we were cleaning up so many other people were there not all of them were from Episcopal some were neighbors who had flooded some were just volunteers.  It really opened my eyes and restored my faith in humanity when all you typically hear about is all the bad things happening but they never mention things like this. Neighbors from down the street that also flooded made food and would come and offer food to the volunteers. Their houses weren’t even clean they would just come and offer food because they felt like giving back to the community. Later on that day when everyone came together as a group to see what was left to do and Mr. Scott the owner of the house came out and addressed us all with such kind words.

“I appreciate everything that each and every one of you have done for me and my family. You all are such generous people to give up your time to come help me. For all of the bad reputation Louisiana gets from the news they will have to show this. Acts like these acts of kindness towards others that don’t benefit one’s self.”

Then all of the sudden there was a roar of applause for the such kind words that Mr. Scott had just said. Everyone that had helped was there the sheetrock crew, the volunteers, the people who donated, and the teams. It was at this moment that I really realized what it meant to be a knight. It meant that you will be there for one another should you need each other that you have each other’s back should you need them. No matter what there will always be someone who is able to help you. No matter who you are if you are in need and people know it you will get some sort of assistance from the community in some way shape or form.

I then snapped back into reality and realized that I was the only one in the room just standing there looking forward. Well I was the only one in the room until my mom busted into the room screaming at the top of her lungs looking for me. You wouldn’t have thought that after all of the things that just happened to this house that it very recently had multiple feet of water in the house. If you didn’t know better and didn’t smell that horrible smell of mildew, sewage, and rotten insulation you might have thought that it was just going under construction.

This showed me how people from anywhere are capable of having such good morals. These are people that not even the owner of the house knew. It really showed me as a Knight and as a member of our community that you can do anything that you want to with the support of your community.